Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanks #21

Tonight was the most quiet night we've had in a while. None of us had to go anywhere. We all sat down at the table to eat -- at the same time. After supper, the kids asked me to read them a story and I actually said yes. I'm constantly saying no and explaining what other thing I'm working on, but not tonight. I had time and the gift of slowness inside me to realize I had time. 

I call it a gift partly because I don't understand it, but mostly because I don't control it. It shows up somewhat randomly, although I'd guarantee it never showed up again if I didn't take antidepressants. On the other hand, I increase the opportunity for it with intentional living. The No Spend month was my first breakthrough in this department. I felt my first moments of inner stillness and it was like my eyes opened so I actually saw what was happening around me and had the depth to soak it in. I heard someone say, "It's all blurry when you hurry." Wow. I'm not sure how I feel about wisdom that rhymes, but since a kid said it, I'll just go with it. Tonight the thing I discovered when I slowed down, I actually heard. 

Brian and I decided to catch Survivor live tonight which we used to think was an okay show to watch with the kids. Between the occasional swear words and the confusion of morals that would stress my little black and white, concrete thinkers, I'd rather not. So we set them up with Angry Birds on Brian's ipad. We muted our commercials and the only sound left was our children giggling. They were squeezed into our overstuffed chair, peering at the screen and laughing at the pigs' antics. I wanted to video it for you guys, but as soon as I got my camera it ended. You'll just have to take my word for it. It was the best sound ever. 

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