Thursday, October 2, 2014

Shambles of Hope

Hey my peeps. I'm in a bit of a shambles right now. It's a hopeful place of getting answers and changing direction and starting to get excited about improvement, but it's a messy place. Kind of like this.

This is where I decided to sort a grab bag of beads. Yes, that's my front door. I thought I'd do it so quick I wouldn't be in anybody's way. But then I discovered they were individual necklaces, not strands I could wrap around my Christmas tree. That threw me for a loop and these piles stayed there a day and a half. When my sweet husband asked if he could help me put them elsewhere, he got a death glare and a, "I don't KNOW what I'm going to do with them right now." I know. Yikes. It's just that I was headed out the door and my mind was all cloudy with new words and ideas and what was supposed to be some simple beads had turned into this fiasco which could easily tangle if he wasn't careful...oy. 

This is my bumperless car I've been driving around for hmm...months now. To have it fixed the easy way (at a body shop) would cost $1500. So we've been trying to get a bumper from a place called U-Pull-It. Last weekend, we almost got one. They had a couple cars like ours but by the time our friend got there, they were crushed.  

These and other life experiences are being seen through a fuzzy preoccupation caused by finding out I have adrenal fatigue. I didn't even know what my adrenal glands did before this. Apparently, they take cholesterol and create magical things like estrogen and cortisol and (surprise) adrenaline. They're important little guys, even though they're smaller than a walnut and you'd die pretty quick without them. They're much like your body and soul's bumper, helping you handle and recover from the physical and emotional stresses that hit. 

Above you see the natural supplements I'm taking to help my adrenal glands recover. And recover they will. I mean, look at all those bottles! It'll probably take months, but that's not bad considering it's been a serious problem for eight years. I feel hopeful. Dazed and confused, but hopeful.

This may be shocking since I haven't talked about my lack of energy before. Or how my tissue doesn't heal as quickly as it should. Or that I've had dizziness and low blood pressure and need a long afternoon nap or I can't get through the evening. I didn't know if it was something to talk about or if it was just me. Some people need more sleep than others. I thought I'd scored the "needs sleep constantly" genes and tried to make life work anyway. I've known deep down I couldn't keep a full-time job and that scared me, even though I don't need to do that right now. I felt embarrassed and avoided admitting how often I napped. And that my nap was two hours long. 

So I didn't tell you, but you may have noticed my posts dwindling to once a week when I started working more. It's been all I could do and now that I know what's going on, that I'm living life bumper-less, I need to take an official break. I'm requiring myself to stop posting during October. If I'm feeling better in November, I may gradually build back up. What you don't need to worry about is this blog going away forever. I love writing you and can't stay away too long.

If you resonate with what I've said, you might want to look into adrenal fatigue. I'll share more when I have energy but for now, when I start fantasizing about keeping the pace I'm used to AND getting better, I remember these words, "Your adrenal glands are pretty much shot." It's time for a break. Thanks for reading and waiting. 

I love you so!


  1. Take good care of yourself, Kendra. I don't know very much about adrenal fatigue but do know that it's pretty hard to do things. I hope you can take the rest of this month and make some special time to nurture yourself. Be well!

    1. Thank you, Joyous! Down-shifting is one of the hardest things for me, but there's a time for everything. :)