Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Where I'm At

Oh my friends! How I've missed you. Thanks for the kind wishes and the cheer-up package! You are all too good to me. For those who missed my last post, I took October off to begin recovering from adrenal fatigue. I wanted to check in and let you know how my month off went and what my plans are moving forward. So...

My month off was exactly what I needed. While I had several urges to write you, I resisted and kept my life that much simpler. I wrapped up obligations I'd previously committed to and let others go. My husband's job is unpredictable and makes demands on me I can't control, but I've made some space for that by nixing everything optional. I work hard to be in bed between 9:30 and 10. I don't let myself go hungry and make sure I grab some protein when I snack on fruit. This helps my blood sugar stay even, since part of the adrenals' job is to regulate that and mine are pooped. #adrenalfatigue

I'm also taking supplements that support my adrenal glands. I'd like to share a post giving you an idea what it's like to live with adrenal fatigue so if any of you have it, you won't carry on with it as long as I have. I'm feeling just a smidge better. For this reason, I'll return to blogging as slowly as I can stand. There's so much I'd like to tell you, but I'm only promising two posts in November (after this one).

My mantra through this has been, "I worry about nothing," which sometimes feels like lying through my teeth, but I'm determined to lay this habit down. It doesn't serve me. I always imagined it did because when I worry about something bad that could happen, I work to prevent it and save myself/my family some trouble. Then I read this: 




It would SEEM, he's implying that worrying does not in fact, help. I argued initially, "Om, if a person hears a tornado siren and goes to their basement and doesn't get sucked away with their house, that adds a lot of hours to their life." But then I realized, he's not talking about actions we take when we see potential trouble on the horizon, so he must be talking about the fretting we do before and after we've taken precautions. Hmm...

So I made a list - a long one of all the things I was done worrying about. I divided my list into three columns (because organizing is my favorite part) and drew a heart over one (family member's struggles, my soul issues), a clock over another (time commitments and the juggling that requires), and over the third column I drew a dollar sign and listed all the things I worry about paying for. 

When I start to fret, I ask myself if I've done what I can and if I have, I breathe and say, "There's another way to be...I worry about nothing." It keeps things simpler folks, and you know how I like simple. I've poured so much energy down the worry drain and I'm done. I'm out. It seems I don't have much energy to spare, so it's time to wise up. This brings me to one more epiphany and then I'll go.

When people say they can read the Bible and "always come away with something new," I've done a lot of inward eye rolls. Not because that wouldn't be nice, but because I wished I felt that way. A lot of times I read and it feels pretty same-ol' same-old. So I guess I was jealous. Based on what happened with the verse above, I can see what they mean although I'm still a ways away from "always." I'm just glad for the freshness whenever it decides to happen and I won't frown at the days when familiar ground feels, well, familiar. Also, if the Bible feels judgey to you because of how you heard it taught growing up, get a new version. It helps. 

Love you all!




6 comments:

  1. Wow, Kendra, this piece is fabulous. I am a natural worrier -- always have been. I try to control how much I talk about it, but that constant stream in the back of my own mind.... I'm going to try your list suggestion (great categories, btw!), as I have found that writing things down makes a big difference for me. Thank you for sharing your story!

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    1. It helped me notice when those things come up. Today I'm fretting over spending money and having trouble clearing my head! I worry about nothing...just saying it feels strong and free!

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  2. Oh Kendra I totally relate. I am a worrywort and tend to fret needlessly. It is such a waste of brain space! Most of the time my fears do not transpire and then I get mad at myself. I think I will try your method for giving worry the boot. It is wonderfully simple and that suits me just fine.

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  3. Welcome back, Kendra! Thank you for, once again, sharing parts of your journey. My life is richer for witnessing what you share. In today's post, you are showing us (okay, I'll take responsibility - me) what a friend calls radical self-care.

    Blissings,
    ~ Dena

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    1. It is radical in our culture and FEELS over the top most of the time. Us Americans constantly undervalue rest/vacation which makes even necessary recovery hard.

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