Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Why It's a Happy New Year

Last year at this time, I struggled when people wished me a happy new year. Mainly because I was sickno one had been able to help me feel better and we were in enough debt, I didn't feel I could keep looking for a "cure." Hopes that my kids would remember my tired years as a blip on their childhood's panorama were fading. I felt angry and hopeless about it. I've talked about this before, but I want you to know how different I feel here, at the beginning of 2017.

And it's not that I'm feeling awesome. No, I wore myself down doing all the Christmassing and was exhausted my entire vacation. But in the past year, I've seen my body working hard to get better and actually finding some success with my healing diet and therapy. The wrist I couldn't heal is vastly better, though not yet normal. I've lost much of the weight I gained during the stress of other treatments. But mostly, I have my faith back. 

When I was hopeless, I read a book called Medical Medium by Anthony William that reminded me of some important things: God is on my side. I was created to heal. Everything I do helps. 

For the many struggling to face this new year, I'd like to unpack those three things since they're central to hope, no matter what your struggle is. 

God is on my side. Why is this so hard to believe? Because we live within a structure of illusions designed to convince us she isn't. But God, the universe, angels, nature...they're all rooting for us and aiding us toward wellness. Did you know Teddy Roosevelt went into nature to heal his soul after losing his wife and mother within a short period of time? It's why he started the national parks - because nature can minister to our withering hearts. It's all therapy - sunshine, bird song, letting water hold you as you float on it's surface. They're all gifts planned for you, knowing you'd encounter struggle on your path. 

I was made to heal. The struggles we encounter on our path are real and deal heavy blows. Our souls and bodies suffer as a result and the suffering doesn't magically stop when we are physically or chronologically past it. But if we keep walking, we'll find opportunities for healing. When I heard of a small girl who'd been mistreated by her father the way I was, I told her mom she could heal. Redemption isn't just an eternal destiny. It's life blood that can bring life back to all our dead limbs. 

Everything I do helps. The hardest part of hope is believing I can take me where I need to go. Sometimes I don't know how to get there and sometimes I know how, but can't muster the courage or energy or brainpower to do it. But no effort is wasted. Even when we do the wrong things (things that aren't helpful) we are learning what not to do. The universe sees our effort and blesses us in other places. When we take our multivitamin, when we drink more water, when we say no to a commitment we know is too much, it all helps. If we want to have faith and believe in our own momentum, we have to stop looking at all the good things we haven't found our way to do and celebrate all the good things we have managed. 

When I pull these truths in and hold them close, I wonder how I could manage to NOT find my way. We live on a stage of loving kindness, set by the one who doesn't change. The Bible says if we see the sun rise, we just got a fresh scoop of his grace. And it's not the grace that acquits us and walks away. She follows us around with kindnesses that will never, ever stop. 

We are freakin' beloved. 

I am freakin' beloved.

You are freakin' beloved.

Bring it 2017. 

I will bask in this love that is mine.